A New New Years Narrative

As we stand at the threshold of a new year, it’s customary to reflect on the past and envision the future. Yet, amidst the flurry of resolutions and promises of self-improvement, I dare to question this tradition that seems to perpetuate an unyielding pressure on our shoulders.

Why do we inaugurate a new chapter by burdening ourselves with commitments to change, to become better versions of who we are? Who penned this script of relentless self-improvement?

Perhaps it’s time to rewrite this narrative.

Let me clarify, I've been quite the advocate for self-improvement; it's practically woven into the fabric of who I am. From as far back as I can recall, the drive to enhance myself has been a constant. I mean, even back in my 20s, I was diving headfirst into self-help books!

Yet, amidst this pursuit, I've had an awakening. I've realized that my tireless quest for improvement didn't stem from a place of self-love. Instead, it stemmed from a desire to become someone else entirely, all because I couldn't reconcile with the person I saw staring back at me in the mirror. The truth is, I've never fully embraced and accepted who I am. Sadly, this seems to be a common thread among many of my clients and others who are deeply entrenched in this cycle of relentless self-improvement.

In today's social media-dominated landscape, the emphasis is solely on external perception. It's an incessant race to maintain the illusion of the flawless lifestyle, body, home, skin, clothes, career —the PURSUIT OF PERFECTION.

What often remains hidden behind this facade is the imperfection and authenticity that lies beneath. Despite the constant influx of curated content online, what many truly yearn for is genuine authenticity, raw truth, and unfiltered acceptance.

Instead of commencing the new year with a checklist of more ambitions, I propose a different approach—one that celebrates our resilience, acknowledges our struggles, and embraces the imperfect beauty of our humanity.

The culmination of a year should be marked with congratulations for all we’ve endured, survived, and achieved amidst life’s trials and tribulations. It’s a testament to our strength, adaptability, and perseverance—a moment worthy of acknowledgment and self-appreciation.

And as we step into the unknown terrain of another year, let us make promises not of grand transformations, but of kindness—to ourselves, first and foremost. Let’s acknowledge the weight we carry as humans traversing the often exhausting treadmill of life. Let's promise to be gentler with ourselves, understanding that self-care and compassion are not luxuries but necessities. Let’s love and accept ourselves for who we are and work on strengthening our natural talents and healing our wounds. 

If we are to pledge, let it be to prioritize rest before our bodies demand it, to nourish our bodies with wholesome foods, sleep, movement, and relationships. To pause amidst the chaos and savor the richness of life as it unfolds. Let’s shed the facade of perfection that society demands and embrace the flawed, wondrous beings we truly are beneath the surface.

Let us learn the art of acceptance—that imperfection is not a flaw but a defining feature of our existence. It’s within these imperfections that true beauty resides. Seeking perfection only adds to our strife, but embracing our flaws fosters a sense of peace within. Ultimately, acceptance embodies love, and love embraces acceptance. Without either, self-improvement finds no fertile ground to flourish.

Let us make 2024 a year not of unrealistic expectations, but of accepting and loving all parts of us - especially the imperfections, nurturing kindness, and finding the beauty of our imperfect lives. Everything else—achievements, improvements—they are all fragments of this greater quest for peace.

Wishing you a year filled with compassion, self-acceptance, and the courage to embrace all that you are and all that you are not.