The Truth About Filling Your Cup
/As we anticipate closing the year, I want to get personal.
Let’s set aside for the moment - your work, your errands, your busy schedule and your health. Let’s get personal and talk about YOU.
I want to share a truth that you’ve undoubtedly heard before. But in my experience supporting others, most have heard this advice before - and even agree with it, but very few actually DO it.
After all, it’s a common trap. You can have a picture perfect life…. The well cared for home. The beautiful children. The incredible life partner. The successful job. The importantly busy schedule. You can have all of this yet still feel exhausted and unfulfilled.
This I know to be true: your success and fulfillment and longevity is going to be directly correlated with your level of self-care.
Because the reality is that being and doing life is challenging. It takes Patience. Focus. Resiliency. Creativity. Persistence. Commitment. And the heaviness of what life experiences can bring us, can feel like a thousand pounds on your shoulders. My advice is to always prioritize filling your own cup first. And then give generously to those you serve with the overflow from your cup.
Sure, you can over-give and deprioritize yourself for a while. Putting your children, your spouse, your errands, your team, your communities and causes and families consistently ahead of you. Getting by with a half-full cup and rationalizing your resentment or frustration and fatigue. But I have never seen this approach work long-term.
Eventually you too will burnout and likely succumb to dis-ease in the very way that I educate my clients to avoid. When we are burned out, we do not show up for our loved ones with our full creativity and intuition. Our support becomes acceptable and a bit numb. It’s no longer from a space of inspiration and compassion. And in some cases, we leave behind everything we were called to pursue because it all becomes “just too much”.
I do not want this to happen to you. But I know that this is likely the default if you don’t purposefully prevent it. The world needs what you uniquely have to offer. Your loved ones, your community need your full authentic version of you. The BEST version of you! We need you to show up in a way that is authentic, fulfilling, and uplifting to you. When we prioritize our own self-care and fill our cup first, then it is easy and gratifying to give generously from all that overflows that cup. Our cup of wellness, joy, and ease. It isn’t any wonder flight attendants ask you to put your own oxygen mask first.
Of course only you know what truly fills your cup. Perhaps it’s time alone. Solitude in nature. A scorching hot yoga class. Time spent in a creative hobby. An adventure with friends. Loud music and raucous dancing. Gratitude journaling. Weekly zen massage. Hire someone to do the parts of your life that deflate you. A weekday off with your best buddy roaming the city. Put a hammock in your living room. A vacation without your family. A long snuggle with a beloved pet (maybe even take them to work with you). Take art lessons. Get to bed at 9pm. Or 8pm with an hour lost in a book that you lose yourself in. Ballroom dance class. Yoga in the middle of the day. A hot bath. These are all seemingly simple things. But they are powerful. And your list is probably weird and questionable to some of your friends and family. That’s okay. Stop “should”ing on yourself and start full-filling yourself. Nobody but you has to understand and say yes to what fills your cup.
As we’re about to say goodbye to another year and transition into a new year of possibilities, I want you to get honest with yourself about what would fill your cup. And then start taking steps now to make it happen as a priority. Stop settling for “it’s just not convenient” or “there’s no way”. There Is a way. Just begin. Your cup just needs your prioritization and creativity and commitment. If you need help from loved ones to make it happen, love yourself enough to ask for that support. Prioritize funds or barter for what you cannot afford. We need you to be showing up with a full cup.